In Wake of Suicides, Westfield High Stresses Prevention

There's no shame in talking to your teenagers about suicide or depression, counselors and experts told parents gathered at a suicide prevention forum held Monday night at Westfield High School.

One of the biggest myths about suicide is that parents discussing suicide with their kids may cause them to consider it or make things worse, Dave Thompson, a Fairfax County Public Schools psychologist, told a crowd of about 60 parents at the forum.

The most important thing is to talk with your children about their feelings, which may include depression or suicide.

"Look, not all families are touchy-feely," Thompson said, "and we all realize that talking about suicide ranks right up there with having that talk about where babies come from. But nobody ever committed suicide just because their mom asked them about it."

Thompson suggested taking a non-confrontational approach, broaching the subject on neutral turf  such as in the car during a drive, where parents and teens wouldn't have to look directly at each other.

The forum was organized in response to  by Centreville-area teenagers over the past few months. Some of the teens apparently knew each other, police said.

One of the warning signs of suicide, counselors said, is that teenagers can get depressed when a friend or acquaintance takes their own life.

"They may start speaking of death as a way to end their pain or start talking about how they want to join someone in heaven," said Laura Gulgert, a Westfield school counselor. "But what they really want is a way to end the pain."

Even though teenagers in the county are no more likely than youth elsewhere to commit or consider suicide, about 14 percent of county teens (about 5,000) said they considered suicide in the last year, according to the most recent Fairfax County Youth Survey.

For parents who suspect their teenagers may be considering suicide, the best route is to seek professional help. But that can sometimes be a problem if a teen refuses to go see a counselor, said Cynthia Crisafulli, an emotional disabilities clinician at Westfield. In those cases, it may be necessary to be as firm as possible.

"One of the problems with depression is that it's a disease that prevents you from doing the things that may help you alleviate the symptoms," Crisafulli said. "You may have to tell them that, 'I'm thinking more clearly than you are right now and we need to see someone.'"

Harry Wolin, Westfield High School director of Student Services, also announced a school-wide depression and suicide screening program for all 3,000 students on Jan.10. The program, which parents would be allowed to opt out of, would include a suicide prevention video and a short questionnaire that would ask students to evaluate their own risk levels for depression, Wolin said.

Parents can find more information about prevention services at the county Web site:www.fairfaxcounty.gov/csb